Do I write for my sons? Yes, but indirectly. I don’t write so they can read these stories later, unless they choose to. When I pound out my frustrations on the keypad with fierce, harsh truths about this journey, I feel a sense of relief. Releasing the strain of these emotions allows me to focus on my sons and be a better mom to all my boys.
As you’ve read, daily life can be a struggle in our home. Unleashing on the keyboard proves very therapeutic for me. In turn, I am more patient, loving, and less stressed. Writing also forces me to see the reality. It is hard, but there is ALWAYS a silver lining! ALWAYS!
My posts afford me the opportunity to sit back, read, and see the positives. Through out my entire life, I’ve written in some capacity or another, so daily my head swirls with words that crave to be typed. When I put “pen to paper” I release my head and heart from those sometimes binding ideas and words.
That is why I write, but why do I share our personal stories?
When I started this journey of motherhood, I felt so alone. Before I became a mom, my identity was in my career. I worked hard to achieve a very lucrative, fulfilling career in sales. By the age of 28, I was making 6 figures two times over. Letting go of that identity to be a stay at home mom was more difficult than I thought.
As I fumbled through the writing of my resignation letter, tears flooded the keyboard. It was hard, but being a stay at home mom was what I wanted. I was eager to find my new identity in being a great mom. Unfortunately, motherhood didn’t welcome me with open arms.
It began with a NICU stay and a very sick, colicky baby. It continued with two more NICU stays along with a PICU stay, a Sensory Integration Disorder diagnosis, and an Autism diagnosis. This was not the storybook I dreamed of.
Every day motherhood has its ups and downs, with or without special needs, so if I can lessen the burden by creating a sense of camaraderie by sharing a story that resonates with a mom who is in my shoes, I count that as a success. I share, so I can be the support that I so needed.
When it comes to Autism, which is a good portion of my posts, I share, because truthfully, the diagnosis alone could have destroyed me. I cried for over a month straight…couldn’t sleep. I was so alone with nowhere to turn.
I share my son’s amazing journey to create comfort for those hurting, create a sense of belonging to those feeling alone, and to share the glorious, sweet successes in an effort to empower parents who feel like they are trapped in this cycle that never seems to end. Our stories are proof that all parents can help their child achieve amazing feats!
This is why I write and why I share the most intimate details of our lives.
Read part 2 of this 2 part series #whyiwrite here
